I ♥ Deadpool

Ruzana

2010-01-02T10:05:00.000+08:00

Ruzana Ruzana Ruzana Ruzana Ruzana 

Ruzana Ruzana Ruzana Ruzana Ruzana

Ruzana Ruzana Ruzana Ruzana Ruzana

Ruzana Ruzana Ruzana Ruzana Ruzana

Ruzana Ruzana Ruzana Ruzana Ruzana

Ruzana Ruzana Ruzana Ruzana Ruzana

Ruzana Ruzana Ruzana Ruzana Ruzana

Ruzana Ruzana Ruzana Ruzana Ruzana

Ruzana Ruzana Ruzana Ruzana Ruzana

Ruzana Ruzana Ruzana Ruzana Ruzana

THAT'S ALL I EVER THINK ABOUT.

On bended knees

2009-12-26T17:15:00.000+08:00

I'm sorry for EVERYTHING.

I know I have disappoint you.

I'm truly sorry for letting you down.

But you know what,

I promise to myself and you that I will change into better.

I won't repeat my mistake.

I will learn from my mistake.

But I need you to trust and believe in me.

Because I will prove it to you.

YES I WILL.

I SWEAR TO GOD THAT I WILL STOP SMOKING.

I SWEAR TO GOD THAT I WILL STOP DRINKING.

I SWEAR TO GOD THAT I WILL STOP TAKING HARMFUL STUFF.

But will you give me one last chance?

I need you

2009-12-12T18:23:00.000+08:00

I have lost you.

Each day passed, I struggled to breathe.

Life has been meaningless.

Without any directions or goals.

My dreams are shattered.

I couldn't go on with my life.

It's so hard to live my life like this. 

I need you.

I need your air.

I need your voice.

I need your smile.

I need your love.

Is it too much to ask?

I want to be with you again.

I want to be cuddled by you again.

I want to be told, "I swear I love you very very much like kwazee" by you again.

I miss talking about our future together.

I miss talking about growing old together.

I miss everything about you, Ruzana.

♥

Always on my mind

2009-12-11T16:58:00.000+08:00

Maybe I didn't treat you

Quite as good as I should have

Maybe I didn't love you

Quite as often as I could have

 Little things I should have said & done
I just never took the time

But you were always on my mind

Maybe I didn't hold you
All those lonely, lonely times
And I guess I never told you
I'm so happy that you're mine
If I made you feel second best

Girl, I'm sorry I was blind
But you were always on my mind

Tell me

Tell me that your sweet love hasn't died

Give me

Give me one more chance to keep you satisfied 

You were always on my mind.

-------------------------------------

I promise I'll do better if you give me the chance.

♥

Hold my hands.

2009-12-10T19:16:00.002+08:00

The world keeps changing.

People keep changing.

Everything is changing.

But one thing I don't see any change at all.

My love to you.

Nothing is gonna heal me except for your love.

Time isn't a great healer.

It makes me sick and weak when each day pass by.

Unfortunately, all I can give you is this imperfect heart of mine.

That beats only for you.

I breathe your air. 

It's as if I worship you.

I do.

Because you are the girl of my dream.

I wish I could have a future with you. 

People asked, do I get tired of typing these?

My answer is no.

It worth my time. 

Let me hold your hands.

I will shower you with love.

The love you couldn't imagined.

I just need you to trust me on this one.

I promise we will go to Bora Bora Island one day.

I will take care of you each every single day in every single way.

We need each other.

We are meant to be together.

Please take my hand.

I will give you an adventure in life.

We will go through life together.

Don't worry.

If you fall, I'll be the one who catch you.

I'll be your superhero.

I'll be your everything.
♥ 

I am your knight in shining armour.

2009-12-09T17:39:00.004+08:00

If you said you are lost,

then take my hand.

If you said you need directions,

then take my hand and I'll lead you to your happiness.

If you said you need me,

tell me and I'll be there for you right away.

If you said you have lost your heart and smile,

then I promise I will search for your heart and make you the happiest girl ever.

Only if you let me.

Only if you give me the chance.

Only if you still love me.

Because I never stop loving you.

8 letters

3 words

1 meaning

♥

Photographs and memories

2009-12-09T00:12:00.002+08:00

DNNRZN

2009-12-07T14:59:00.005+08:00

~ Ruzana Abdul Rahim ~

She is the person that I love with all my heart and soul.

She belongs to this fragile heart of mine.

She's the most beautiful women I've ever seen.

Although she's not perfect, she's perfect in my eyes.

I'd never trade her for the world.

Nothing ever change my love towards her.

I never think about giving up on her.

Because I believe in her.

She is wonderful.

Though she broke my heart several times,

I'd still love her and someday, I wish I could make her my wife.

The best thing about loving and being hurt is that you get to know what true love really is.

 For as gold is tested in fire, and so will love be perfected in pain.

I hold onto her, never let go but in the end, she let go of me.

I just want to tell her that, we can go through together.

We can overcome anything.

It's Dinno and Ruzana I'm talking about.

Once the most loving couple ever.

I used to compare with my friends, how wonderful and special Ruzana is.

There's a door waiting for her.

Everyone is inside.

Everyone accepted her especially mom.

But she's the one who need to hold my hands and walk through the door together.

-----------------------------------------------
I believe in you, Ruzana Abdul Rahim.

I always do.

Stop doubting yourself and trust me for once.

I will stand by your side forever.

I will catch you when you fall.

Give us a chance to start this relationship anew.

We can make it because I believe so.

So can you.

It will be hard if you're alone in this.

But it will be easy if we're together, once more.

Please come back, my love.

I will be right here waiting for you.

I ♥ U

You are my world, you are my stars.

2009-12-07T08:34:00.002+08:00

Why are you being so unfair to me?

What have I ever done to deserve all this?

I was so delighted when we were back together.

I felt as it I was alive once more.

The same goals and dreams to achieve.

But you gave up in the end without even trying.

I gave you my word that we will go through everything together.

What excuse did you gave me?

Because you can't face everyone around me especially my mom.

Don't you know that I have told everyone that we got together again?

About my mom, she agreed to talk to you. 

My mom could have accepted you but why did you gave up?

Why?

I always believe in you.

I put a trust on you, still.

Why can't you even try to believe in yourself?

Why is the world being cruel to me?

I haven't done anything wrong.

I showered you with love.

You wanted me to be there for you, I was there for you

I only ask you in return and that is your love.

I just want your love.

Why is it hard?

Don't worry.

I won't give up on you.

I want to show you what LOVE really is.

I will prove it to you.

I won't stop until the day I die.

I love you with all my heart, Ruzana Abdul Rahim

I just hope someday, you will realise what love really is.

Memories like photographs

2009-12-02T15:37:00.002+08:00

This is all it left.

The same thing over again.

2009-12-02T04:59:00.000+08:00

The first thing I wake up, it is you in my mind.

Then when I sleep, it is you again in my mind.

You see, you won't have that feelings anymore.

Maybe you've moved on.

Maybe there's other guy that could cheer you up.

But for me, it's different.

It's hard to say this, but I still have the feelings ever since 250807

It's always you in my mind.

Why do you have the heart to do this to me?

Feelings

2009-12-01T12:32:00.000+08:00

I am all alone, and I have fallen to my knees. The love of all my life has walked away from me and my tears fall with the rain around me as I clutch the roses I picked for her.

The pain is unbearable, yet I am entranced by it. The elegant beauty of each raindrop and footstep brings joy﻿ to my heart. And instead of a player in the moment, I am an observer. An observer of life.

What comes around, goes around.

2009-11-30T16:00:00.001+08:00

It ends here. 

I have nothing to blog about. 

I have nothing else but my friends. 

Of course you heard of this thing called KARMA

Clock's ticking

2009-11-29T05:02:00.004+08:00

I couldn't sleep. It's 5 am yet my eyes couldn't shut. My mind is bombarded by thoughts.
It's just hard, living my days like this. I haven't been going out this lately except going to the water breaker at the park. My mind is playing in sequence like those in motion. How I wish I could just plug an usb cable into my head and put the media files from my mind to my desktop then upload it in youtube but it's going to be painful to watch, obviously. I got to be strong though it makes me weak. I was there when she fell. I was there for her accomplishment. How I wish I'm so important to her. How I wish she could treasure and cherish me like I always do. But sadly, I can't change any of her mind. I could make things right. I could work extra hard for her.
But the question is, do I stand a chance?

I had my question unanswered.
"Where do I stand in your life, heart and mind?"

Supposed to grow old

2009-11-29T02:47:00.000+08:00

Pantun

2009-11-29T01:35:00.001+08:00

Ramai orang menanam pulut,
saya seorang menanam padi.
Ramai orang karam di laut,
saya seorang karam di hati.

The story of my life, for now.

2009-11-28T10:14:00.002+08:00

I've been sitting alone at home and mostly doing nothing except for thinking alot of stuff. Everything seems to be mundane. I've been alone most of the time and I have alot of issues within me. It's too pain for me to bare with it especially when I'm alone so I started a blog to express my feelings.  This is the only way it could make me slightly better, at least but I can't continue to be this way. Until when? I really love you. I don't expect so much from this world. What I need and want is your love. True love. That's all. You told me that you love me but that's not enough. It takes more than words to show love. You promised me alot of things but in the end, you broke it. I never stop believing in you but now, I'm losing my patience. I feel that you are taking me for granted. Everyone has a choice. I have a choice. You have a choice. Stop telling excuses. I sacrificed alot of things for you. I sacrificed my money, time, dignity and education. All because of you. All because I love you. I need time with you. I need real love. You wants me to understand your feelings, but do you even understand my feelings. It's hard for me to put sense in you. Why am I the one who needs to suffer? I don't see the love in you anymore. You even forgot our monthsary together. I finished my prepaid because I spend entirely for you but do you even message me in the morning or at night? This is the pain that I couldn't bear.